Getting Smarter
Many years ago, when I first started consulting, a colleague called me late on a Friday night. She had just been in a bad car accident and was going to be in the hospital for a few days. And tomorrow—Saturday—she was scheduled to facilitate a board retreat.
“You know a lot of these folks,” she told me. “And you know the topic. If I send you my agenda, can you do the board retreat?”
I did. She was right. About half the board had been members of the board where I had been the Executive Director. We had liked each other then, and the vibe at the retreat was very good. I did wonder, however, if they were a little bored hearing the same song from me that I had always sang.
But I was totally wrong.
At the end of the retreat, all of them came over to tell me what a great retreat it had been. And to tell me that I had certainly learned a lot in the few years since I had served at their ED! Clearly my not being staff—not being the person they saw all the time—had great value.
It’s a story we all know—our kids listen more to their friends’ parents than they do to us (their friend’s parents are clearly more brilliant than we are!)—and our board members too often think that outsiders know much more than insiders. It is the reason I often get hired to talk with board members about their roles and responsibilities, especially their fundraising roles. They hear what I say so much more clearly than they hear their ED or director of development. Of course, I do a lot of board training and so, over the years, I’ve learned how to make the talk interesting, engaging, and get them to feel that this is not just something they know they have to do but something they feel that they can do. And do well.
Bringing in an outsider works not just for training, but also for planning. The distance an outsider brings often lets them see things you can’t see. And outsiders definitely don’t get caught in that loop of “We do this this way because this is the way we’ve always done it.”
Sometimes, however, you can’t bring in someone. There is no money; the board says no. Or it is just a regular board meeting with no reason to bring someone from the outside. But still, they have to understand that if your event, your appeal, a specific ask is going to be successful, Board members really need to step up to the plate.
Alas, they haven’t listened before. Why should they listen now?
First off, surprise them. What you’ve always said? Trash that. Say something completely different. Be clear that you don’t want them to have to go out and make that ask—but it would be fantastic if they would join you on the call; brainstorm with you to figure out how to bring some new faces to your gala and get some regulars to make larger commitments.
Above all, have specific tasks for them to do. For example, ask them to come into the office one day in the next few weeks and write some personal notes to go with the appeal. Then make sure you have some words they can write, suggestions on who they can write these notes to.
Perhaps you would love it if they would introduce you to someone. Maybe you know who; maybe you are hoping they will suggest someone. In either case, make it clear that you are there to facilitate these kinds of things. Once you have identified who—and that may take you sitting with them, and having them scroll through their contacts, consider their friends and colleagues, think about their neighbors. Once you know who, ask what they think would be the best first step: A meal, coffee, a visit to their office, a zoom call? Then find a two or three times when both you and the board member are available.
It is tempting at this point to ask them to make the appointment. After all, they have the connection. But in my experience, with the best of intentions, this is not something that they will do. So take control. Ask them for the best contact information—phone number and email—and say that you will set this up.
Then email or call, making sure you start both with the name of your board member and saying/writing: “….asked me to arrange a meeting for the 3 of us.” Then immediately give them two of the three dates and times you and your board member agreed to.
If they can’t do either of those, offer the third date. If they still can’t do it, throw the ball into their court and ask them when “in the next three weeks,” they could. If they do offer a date/time and you can make it, accept. It is always easier to reschedule than make an appointment. Or, if need be, you could go it alone or with another staff or board member.
As an outside consultant, I provide training and guidance. As the “inside consultant” you have to take the extra step and implement. But until you show your board members that you are committed to the first two items, you won’t have much to implement, at least not from your board.