On Clarity

There is a show on PBS called Astrid, about a woman who is on the autism spectrum and her work with the French police.

In Season 3, a man who is very interested in Astrid finds he has difficulty in asking her out for a date.  He goes to her friend William to ask for help.  William, who is also on the spectrum, runs an Autism Support Group where Astrid is a member.

William, tells Tetsuo—Astrid’s would be boyfriend—that he should just ask her directly.  Neuro-typicals (those who don’t have autism), are too indirect, William says.  Instead of simply asking, “Will you have dinner with me tonight?”  They’ll ask, “Do you have plans tonight?”  Autistic people tend to be very literal.  So they will answer the question you ask, and not the one you think you are asking.

Fundraisers are so neuro-typical!  Instead of staying to a prospective donor, “Could we get together to talk about your (first/next) gift to our organization,” they’ll invent reasons for getting together.  That’s why events are so popular in the nonprofit sector-I know!  I’ll invite them to the gala and they’ll see how great we are!

And sometimes that works.  But if you think how much you have just spent to get a gift much smaller than your prospect probably could give…well, I don’t know about you but it certainly makes me crazy.  And then, what do you do for that next gift?

In my years as a fundraiser, I found that being honest and transparent about what I wanted usually got me…well, what I wanted.  Maybe not at the level I wanted, but certainly to the conversation I wanted to have.

It was a lesson I had learned when I sold life, health, and disability insurance.  My agency taught us to talk about wealth—building and securing theirs.  But that felt really dishonest to me.  So I always was clear:  I would like to get together to talk about insurance—life, health, disability.  Did some say no?  Sure.  Did some hang up (mind you, I am talking about 30 years ago, when people actually did answer their phones and caller ID was not a thing)?  Absolutely.  Was anyone rude, crude or otherwise unlikeable?  Probably.  But here was thing:  When they said yes, it was because they actually had an interest in insurance.

All this is to encourage you to embrace clarity around fundraising.  First—and most importantly—be clear about what you want.  In truth, getting a gift is not the only reason you may want to get together with a donor or prospect.  You might simply want to get to know them better—and yes, of course, to get to know them better so you can better understand what motivates them, the best way to engage them,how much they might give.  You might also want to know who they know, if they would host a small event, sign an appeal letter, or let you know how they think your organization is doing.

Once you know what you want to accomplish out of the encounter you are planning—and let me be clear here, an encounter is whatever you chose it to be—then consider how you will go about this.